The Black Hole of Addiction!
So what do we do?
- Become aware that this is happening. Don't write off or ignore feelings and thoughts. Trying to ignore or drive through feelings and thoughts is akin to the behaviors that enabled our addiction to begin with.
- Accept that we will need to make a lot of changes in our lives. Just about everything needs to be examined and then changed or replaced. Our relationships, activities, thinking, attitude, ego, what we like or dislike, finances, food, exercise, and spirituality all needs to be examined. Commitment to this is crucial. Abstinence comes with lots of hard work and commitment.
- Fear and Anxiety will be part of the process. We are taking on a huge life change here. If you are not feeling some anxiety and fear then it's probably not happening. We don't fill the hole in our hearts without some fear. We are leaving the "safety" of addiction and going out into new territories.
- Keep a journal or use a recording to track what's going on in your daily life. People sometimes ask what good is journaling or recording ourselves going to be? After all we can all remember whats happening with us everyday so what's the problem? Recording our responses to daily life cuts through one of addictions greatest strengths. DENIAL. Addiction Ego will selectively use the days events against you. It will blindside you if you are not practicing awareness. Writing or recording as close to the event as possible cuts back on "selective memory' and ego centric contamination. If you try this for a month you will be surprized at what you are able to see.
- Develop and grow an awareness practice. I really encourage people to do this. There are many paths and opportunities to start an "awareness" practice. Doing so will enrich your ability to see what is instead of wanting to see what we believe. Addiction "does a number" on our ability to see clearly and seeing clearly is what makes life valuable. What we are seeking in an awareness practice is to develop some clarity in our perception of life.
- Engage in this process of recovery with others. We need to take ourselves out of the vacuum that we have been living in. In order to accomplish this we need others who are aware of our needs and directions. This can be intimidating but seeking out others who can support us when we are making changes can be crucial to success. Can we make changes without others for support? Of course we can. But having the support can accelerate our evolution, keep us from falling during vulnerable moments, and we get to help others evolve in their own lives. Others presence offers us a valuable mirror, we can look at ourselves from some one else's perspective. If we see this clearly it can be a great tool.