Hi.
One of my clients asked me to clarify how I view addiction, recovery, and remission. She was asking for a review of how I see the relationship between recovery and remission.
RECOVERY is a word that is used a lot in the substance abuse field. I don't much care for it. Here is why.
1. It takes for granted that I have anything in the past that I want back. So basically it is saying that I can re- create the past in the here and now. I can't do that. Neither can you or anyone else. The past is over.
2. It refers to a steady state system. That somehow I will return to a place where I am OK. It seems to be saying that I have some sort of reset button where my "system" will be restored. I don't have a past "system" that was one that worked. I came from a sexually and emotionally abusive family, things were not OK. If I could "reset" I would end up addicted again.
3. The past is what brought me to my addiction. If I want to change my life I don't need to be looking at the past to create anything new. Most therapists will tell you how much time is spent trying to repair damage from the "past." How the hell is going back there going to help me now?? Most therapists who aren't in it for the money will tell you that the past, and the emotions that are triggered by the past, don't get "fixed."
4. I can never say I am "recovered' and "permanently fixed" unless it's on my tombstone. There is no permanent fix for addictions, get real, they can re-occur (why we use the word relapse) at any time. Systems that claim they can permanently "cure" people need to prove to me how they can justify saying that unless they tracked the "cured" person to their grave.
NONE OF THIS IS GOING TO MAKE ME POPULAR. IT GOES AGAINST ESTABLISHED NORMS.
I DON'T CARE.
I AM THINKING AND FEELING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
MY HEART SAYS SO, NOT MY MIND.
I BELIEVE IN REMISSION.
Here is why.
After working in the substance abuse field as a counselor I noticed that there was a great number of patients that I would see again and again. Some of them had gone in to "recovery" more than once. If "recovery" was a solid state system you would not enter it more than once. What is happening if you have to "recover" over and over??????
I had an opportunity to work with cancer patients and became familiar with the term "remission."
To "remission" (I see it is as verb) means to leave whatever mission you had (bulimia) behind. Re-structure your new direction or if you will your new mission in life. Re-your-mission-in life.
YOU HAVE TO START FROM WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. There will be little from the past that you will be able to use to create a new future.
Cancer patients know that in remission you have to stay aware of the FACT THAT IT COULD END and use new behavior to increase your odds that it won't end.
And.
YOU NEED TO CONTINUE TO BE AWARE OF THAT FACT. YOU NEVER FORGET THAT IT'S THERE. You have to be aware of the action of remission if you want to stay in remission. No guarantees but your odds increase. You find the tools that work to sustain your remission and stay with them.
If you are in remission you will stay "On point" and not forget that relapse can occur at any moment. If you think you are "cured' then you can get blind sided at any time.
I have so much respect for the Bulimia H website that helps my recovery. I know that they and some other site believe in being cured. I have some referrals if you are seeking that model. Contact me for Bulimia information.
I am asking you to take a close look at anyone who is offering a "cure" from addiction. If anyone had a "cure" they would be Gazillionaires by now. Be aware. Pay attention to your body/heart/mind.
I welcome your feedback, I need to hear what you think.
Love you all, Bryan
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Bulimia
Hi.
It's not my first addiction.
Alcohol, opiates, cocaine.
But, it has been the most difficult.
I got through the rest by quitting.
Can't do that with food,
It's like being addicted to air or water.
So.
I am asking you.
Leave you alone.
Quit giving yourself shit for battling this.
Know what?
You are reading this because you are already willing,
You are already what you are seeking.
You are reading this because you are done with it.
If you ever can understand anything then get this.
You are done with it.
I don't want your money.
I want your freedom.
Talk to me.
Love
Bryan
It's not my first addiction.
Alcohol, opiates, cocaine.
But, it has been the most difficult.
I got through the rest by quitting.
Can't do that with food,
It's like being addicted to air or water.
So.
I am asking you.
Leave you alone.
Quit giving yourself shit for battling this.
Know what?
You are reading this because you are already willing,
You are already what you are seeking.
You are reading this because you are done with it.
If you ever can understand anything then get this.
You are done with it.
I don't want your money.
I want your freedom.
Talk to me.
Love
Bryan
Monday, March 25, 2013
Thinking about thinking. (Or not)
Hi.
I am developing this blog as I go along. I want to thank anyone who is reading this blog, especially from the bulimic specific website. You are awesome.
I am trying to stop thinking about not thinking so much. It eats up a lot of valuable time that could be spent not thinking.
I think about not thinking a lot. In fact most of my Zen training was focused on thinking about not thinking. You know if you have done it. Sitting there, counting your breaths, and realizing that you are thinking about not thinking about counting your breath so you won't think about it. Koans and shit. Sold to people as a way of life, like not thinking is actually doing something. How could the absence of something create anything? Like, I could be better by removing something from my crucial being? Like the ability to think? None of it helped. Sitting there for hours just amplified how much noise there was in my head. Lots of thinking going on in there even when I thinking I was not thinking. (Those were the times I believed I was having an enlightened experience.) At least I thought so.
I think.
Thinking about not binging and purging is not (get this) the absence of binging and purging. It's mental masturbation about NOT DOING. Thinking about not doing heroin or cocaine or alcohol, or food, or watching TV, or not having sex with everything that moves will not get you anywhere. The rocket scientists what you to believe that "thinking about it" is the first step in doing it.
Bullshit.
WE ARE ALL SMART ENOUGH TO GET THE THINKING PART.
Unless you're a hubcap. Or carpet pad.
So how does thinking help?
It doesn't, and if you have been trying to go in to remission it might explain why you are struggling. You are still "thinking about it" and not DOING IT.
Thinking about not thinking is not the absence of thinking.
Part 2
DOING.
Is not thinking. You will know when this happens because you won't know it. Cause you won't be thinking about it
So you won't know.
But, you will notice later when you realize that the, car is washed, the dishes done, the job complete, the homework done, the smile in the mirror, stuff like that.
And.
A key.
WE CANNOT THINK AND ACTUALLY DO AT THE SAME INSTANT, THINKING TAKES TOO LONG, DOING JUST IS IN THE MOMENT. (Gee, maybe all that Zen training was for a reason?)
Because, I cannot ask her before the blog is published I do want to thank JB one of my best friends for triggering all this. She helps me everyday stay sober. Thank you JB.
Love all of you, Bryan
I am developing this blog as I go along. I want to thank anyone who is reading this blog, especially from the bulimic specific website. You are awesome.
I am trying to stop thinking about not thinking so much. It eats up a lot of valuable time that could be spent not thinking.
I think about not thinking a lot. In fact most of my Zen training was focused on thinking about not thinking. You know if you have done it. Sitting there, counting your breaths, and realizing that you are thinking about not thinking about counting your breath so you won't think about it. Koans and shit. Sold to people as a way of life, like not thinking is actually doing something. How could the absence of something create anything? Like, I could be better by removing something from my crucial being? Like the ability to think? None of it helped. Sitting there for hours just amplified how much noise there was in my head. Lots of thinking going on in there even when I thinking I was not thinking. (Those were the times I believed I was having an enlightened experience.) At least I thought so.
I think.
Thinking about not binging and purging is not (get this) the absence of binging and purging. It's mental masturbation about NOT DOING. Thinking about not doing heroin or cocaine or alcohol, or food, or watching TV, or not having sex with everything that moves will not get you anywhere. The rocket scientists what you to believe that "thinking about it" is the first step in doing it.
Bullshit.
WE ARE ALL SMART ENOUGH TO GET THE THINKING PART.
Unless you're a hubcap. Or carpet pad.
So how does thinking help?
It doesn't, and if you have been trying to go in to remission it might explain why you are struggling. You are still "thinking about it" and not DOING IT.
Thinking about not thinking is not the absence of thinking.
Part 2
DOING.
Is not thinking. You will know when this happens because you won't know it. Cause you won't be thinking about it
So you won't know.
But, you will notice later when you realize that the, car is washed, the dishes done, the job complete, the homework done, the smile in the mirror, stuff like that.
And.
A key.
WE CANNOT THINK AND ACTUALLY DO AT THE SAME INSTANT, THINKING TAKES TOO LONG, DOING JUST IS IN THE MOMENT. (Gee, maybe all that Zen training was for a reason?)
Because, I cannot ask her before the blog is published I do want to thank JB one of my best friends for triggering all this. She helps me everyday stay sober. Thank you JB.
Love all of you, Bryan
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Lonely or alone?
Hey.
I was just a kid. It was was a hot July afternoon where you could feel the heat driving into your head if you weren't wearing a hat. I was wearing a hat. A ball cap. Back when wearing a baseball cap meant you were playing baseball. Which I was. Little League. Complete with scratchy wool uniform. I remember I was sitting on the end of the bench, next to Boo who was our catcher. (No, I don't know why he was called Boo, but he was a great catcher.) The reason I remember this day was that I felt so lonely in the middle of game, sitting with my team, with a bunch of yelling fans. And. I was trying to figure out why I felt like I didn't fit in. I felt that bad in the middle of a game that I got lost in the feelings and trying to figure it out. I wasn't a good hitter. But, I was a good pitcher and played first base and the team was doing well. No one on the team seemed to dislike me but I never had a sense of "belonging." That was sad because one of the reasons I wanted to play sports was to belong and be part of something. I felt like crying.
Now this feeling of being alone has been with me most of my life. I just never felt part of anything. It has led me in a good direction. I like martial arts, reading, hiking, mountain climbing, I do well in studies, I do pretty well in any arena that doesn't involve a team. I like people. Have friends. Really enjoy working with groups. But. Still don't feel like a part of anything.
What triggered all of this was some conversation I was having with friends the other day. One person was saying how alone they felt and the depression they were feeling. I started thinking.
Alone or isolated. I like being alone, lots of times I isolate myself on purpose. It's why I like solitary activities or ones with just a few people involved. I am a cat.
I finally realized after all these years that what I was feeling was loneliness. Here is what I mean by that.
It is that innate sense of the bridge between you and I. It is the ability to discern that no matter what there is always going to be an invisible wall between you and I. And. No matter how much I love you, how we are bonded through blood and experience, we are all born as individual units. Now I think that some of us may feel that gap more than others. I really don't know. I do know that I am really aware of it.
I posted about the hole in the middle of us. This is the one on the outside. We all carry an invisible shield around us that no one ever quite gets through.
No one told me when I was a child that this was a reality of being human. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. It's just one of those bittersweet truths that we humans need to carry with us.
It's a real feeling. WE ARE NEVER ALONE BUT WE CAN ALWAYS FEEL LONELY.
And.
I think it's a good thing for the most part. We feel so much because of it. We try so hard to communicate to fill the gap. We create, love, laugh, and cry to fill the gap. We might do other things like hate to fill the gap too. But all this makes us human.
You are never alone, I am here with you.
and
when we feel loneliness,
we can sit together,
shoulder to shoulder,
and know there is nothing wrong,
there never was.
Love, Bryan
I was just a kid. It was was a hot July afternoon where you could feel the heat driving into your head if you weren't wearing a hat. I was wearing a hat. A ball cap. Back when wearing a baseball cap meant you were playing baseball. Which I was. Little League. Complete with scratchy wool uniform. I remember I was sitting on the end of the bench, next to Boo who was our catcher. (No, I don't know why he was called Boo, but he was a great catcher.) The reason I remember this day was that I felt so lonely in the middle of game, sitting with my team, with a bunch of yelling fans. And. I was trying to figure out why I felt like I didn't fit in. I felt that bad in the middle of a game that I got lost in the feelings and trying to figure it out. I wasn't a good hitter. But, I was a good pitcher and played first base and the team was doing well. No one on the team seemed to dislike me but I never had a sense of "belonging." That was sad because one of the reasons I wanted to play sports was to belong and be part of something. I felt like crying.
Now this feeling of being alone has been with me most of my life. I just never felt part of anything. It has led me in a good direction. I like martial arts, reading, hiking, mountain climbing, I do well in studies, I do pretty well in any arena that doesn't involve a team. I like people. Have friends. Really enjoy working with groups. But. Still don't feel like a part of anything.
What triggered all of this was some conversation I was having with friends the other day. One person was saying how alone they felt and the depression they were feeling. I started thinking.
Alone or isolated. I like being alone, lots of times I isolate myself on purpose. It's why I like solitary activities or ones with just a few people involved. I am a cat.
I finally realized after all these years that what I was feeling was loneliness. Here is what I mean by that.
It is that innate sense of the bridge between you and I. It is the ability to discern that no matter what there is always going to be an invisible wall between you and I. And. No matter how much I love you, how we are bonded through blood and experience, we are all born as individual units. Now I think that some of us may feel that gap more than others. I really don't know. I do know that I am really aware of it.
I posted about the hole in the middle of us. This is the one on the outside. We all carry an invisible shield around us that no one ever quite gets through.
No one told me when I was a child that this was a reality of being human. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. It's just one of those bittersweet truths that we humans need to carry with us.
It's a real feeling. WE ARE NEVER ALONE BUT WE CAN ALWAYS FEEL LONELY.
And.
I think it's a good thing for the most part. We feel so much because of it. We try so hard to communicate to fill the gap. We create, love, laugh, and cry to fill the gap. We might do other things like hate to fill the gap too. But all this makes us human.
You are never alone, I am here with you.
and
when we feel loneliness,
we can sit together,
shoulder to shoulder,
and know there is nothing wrong,
there never was.
Love, Bryan
Monday, March 18, 2013
My opionion about Truth and Opinion
Hi.
Being in remission takes a lot of awareness. We need to pare our lives down to the basics in physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual arenas. Why? Simple makes it difficult for relapse to hide. My addictive brain likes to make the world really complicated. That gives it better odds on being in control, confusion will lead to lack of direction.
Today I want to clarify Truth.
I was asked a question earlier today concerning the concept of Truth. My friend simply asked me what I thought the "Truth" was? Here was my answer.
I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. And. Open my eyes. What is in front of me is the Truth. My action in the moment is the Truth. Then my brain kicks in and starts telling me stories about what's in front of me, that's Opinion. Then my actions start to respond to my opinion that's me being lost.
Truth is not a "Something." It's not like a rock or a cow or a book or a Tibetan Snow Leopard. You can't take a picture of it, or sculpt it, or make it a God, or "find it" somewhere on a mountain. It's a verb.You Truth like you would run or drive, dive, breath, or sing. Truth is a movement in time right now. Truth is not the song, it's the singing.
If I a fighting for my life, that is theTruth. If I am making love, that is the Truth. Washing dishes = Truth.
Watching grass grow = Truth. Listening to music = Truth. Painting a picture = Truth. (not the picture, just the act of painting!)
Doing = Truth
Maybe Truthing can be a new word. I am in the action of Truthing. (My spell check really hates this.)
This is not a position that anxious people like to take. Or people who think that their Opinion is the Truth. Like you can identify Truth, lock it up, and when anyone wants to see it you unlock your box of Truth, haul it out and exhibit it to them.
Politicians, Lawyers, so called Spiritual leaders, Marketing engineers, in fact almost any authority figure will try to convince you that they "know" the Truth.
Except they can't really define it. You can describe running but to "know" running you have to be doing it.
I ask: How can something defined as Truth be used to kill other peoples families to make it true? I mean it's that bad. We literally kill each other over what we perceive as True politics, religions, philosophy, and yes stuff like Oil. Go figure.
What we are really killing each other over is the Opinion of the Truth. Opinions seem to encourage the building of castles. We build walls of Opinions around ourselves supposedly to protect the Truth in the middle. And. We kill each other to prove the point. Except there is nothing there in the middle.
So Truth is a verb.
Opinion is a position. ( I wish I could get rid of opinion, but it's sticky and embedded, the good news is that it melts away in Truthing.)
So I am going to keep Truthing every second, I like the way it makes me feel. And. In my remission avoid opinion and avoid trying to imply that I "know" the truth.
(Anyway that's my opinion!!)
Love you, Bryan
Being in remission takes a lot of awareness. We need to pare our lives down to the basics in physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual arenas. Why? Simple makes it difficult for relapse to hide. My addictive brain likes to make the world really complicated. That gives it better odds on being in control, confusion will lead to lack of direction.
Today I want to clarify Truth.
I was asked a question earlier today concerning the concept of Truth. My friend simply asked me what I thought the "Truth" was? Here was my answer.
I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. And. Open my eyes. What is in front of me is the Truth. My action in the moment is the Truth. Then my brain kicks in and starts telling me stories about what's in front of me, that's Opinion. Then my actions start to respond to my opinion that's me being lost.
Truth is not a "Something." It's not like a rock or a cow or a book or a Tibetan Snow Leopard. You can't take a picture of it, or sculpt it, or make it a God, or "find it" somewhere on a mountain. It's a verb.You Truth like you would run or drive, dive, breath, or sing. Truth is a movement in time right now. Truth is not the song, it's the singing.
If I a fighting for my life, that is theTruth. If I am making love, that is the Truth. Washing dishes = Truth.
Watching grass grow = Truth. Listening to music = Truth. Painting a picture = Truth. (not the picture, just the act of painting!)
Doing = Truth
Maybe Truthing can be a new word. I am in the action of Truthing. (My spell check really hates this.)
This is not a position that anxious people like to take. Or people who think that their Opinion is the Truth. Like you can identify Truth, lock it up, and when anyone wants to see it you unlock your box of Truth, haul it out and exhibit it to them.
Politicians, Lawyers, so called Spiritual leaders, Marketing engineers, in fact almost any authority figure will try to convince you that they "know" the Truth.
Except they can't really define it. You can describe running but to "know" running you have to be doing it.
I ask: How can something defined as Truth be used to kill other peoples families to make it true? I mean it's that bad. We literally kill each other over what we perceive as True politics, religions, philosophy, and yes stuff like Oil. Go figure.
What we are really killing each other over is the Opinion of the Truth. Opinions seem to encourage the building of castles. We build walls of Opinions around ourselves supposedly to protect the Truth in the middle. And. We kill each other to prove the point. Except there is nothing there in the middle.
So Truth is a verb.
Opinion is a position. ( I wish I could get rid of opinion, but it's sticky and embedded, the good news is that it melts away in Truthing.)
So I am going to keep Truthing every second, I like the way it makes me feel. And. In my remission avoid opinion and avoid trying to imply that I "know" the truth.
(Anyway that's my opinion!!)
Love you, Bryan
Sunday, March 17, 2013
CHOOSE
Hi.
I am bulimic in remission.
A drug and alcohol addict in remission.
A people pleaser in remission.
A consumer in remission.
I am re-entering contact with humans because we all have something to offer.
There is a higher source of knowing.
And humans have good hearts.
Do you know why all this exists for me?
Because I choose to believe.
I don't need to prove any of this to anyone. I used to think that somehow I needed to construct, prove and maybe defend a position before I could believe in it. Now, more than ever in my life, I just choose to believe.
Looking back in history, mine and the planet's, I realized that most anyone who has made a difference has made the choice to believe in something.
Now you may say "Shit, that's the problem, all these different people and all the belief systems and no one is able to get along! It's why the world sucks."
There is nothing to prove to anyone. I don't have to become embroiled in proving anything. Silence really is golden when it comes to what I choose to believe in. It isn't that we choose to believe, it's that we are so insecure that we need to convince others to believe in the same thing in order to feel confident about ourselves. I don't have a "Castle of beliefs." surrounded by a moat anymore. I choose to believe I don't need one.
What I choose to believe in is my choice. Why would I want to defend it?
Choosing to believe is different than just believing. We believe in lots of stuff because we are conditioned to believe in it. We never made the choice, we just had it implanted when we were young by other people who had it implanted when they were young and so on for thousands of years.
Yesterday I met some friends to have coffee. As I sat and listened the conversation turned into an argument concerning martial arts and which one was the "Best." And as usual everyone was defending their "'Castle of beliefs." One of my friends asked me what I thought. I told her the "Best" martial art is the one you train in.
My "belief" is that you choose a martial art you are comfortable with and train. That's it.
Everyone went back to arguing.
What we choose to believe in reflects the quality of our lives. Notice that I am reflecting the idea of choice, again not the ingrained belief systems that society fertilized us with, but what we made choices about believing. (Fertilize was a precise choice of words.)
You can choose to believe in your remission.
You can choose to believe in your success.
You can choose to believe in today and tomorrow.
You can choose to believe you belong here.
You can choose to believe in love.
You can choose to believe in caring.
You can choose to believe in compassion.
You can choose to believe in yourself, your uniqueness, your abilities, your path, your heart, mind, and take that belief in to your awareness and soar.
Query: What in you life do you choose to believe in?
Love, Bryan
I am bulimic in remission.
A drug and alcohol addict in remission.
A people pleaser in remission.
A consumer in remission.
I am re-entering contact with humans because we all have something to offer.
There is a higher source of knowing.
And humans have good hearts.
Do you know why all this exists for me?
Because I choose to believe.
I don't need to prove any of this to anyone. I used to think that somehow I needed to construct, prove and maybe defend a position before I could believe in it. Now, more than ever in my life, I just choose to believe.
Looking back in history, mine and the planet's, I realized that most anyone who has made a difference has made the choice to believe in something.
Now you may say "Shit, that's the problem, all these different people and all the belief systems and no one is able to get along! It's why the world sucks."
There is nothing to prove to anyone. I don't have to become embroiled in proving anything. Silence really is golden when it comes to what I choose to believe in. It isn't that we choose to believe, it's that we are so insecure that we need to convince others to believe in the same thing in order to feel confident about ourselves. I don't have a "Castle of beliefs." surrounded by a moat anymore. I choose to believe I don't need one.
What I choose to believe in is my choice. Why would I want to defend it?
Choosing to believe is different than just believing. We believe in lots of stuff because we are conditioned to believe in it. We never made the choice, we just had it implanted when we were young by other people who had it implanted when they were young and so on for thousands of years.
Yesterday I met some friends to have coffee. As I sat and listened the conversation turned into an argument concerning martial arts and which one was the "Best." And as usual everyone was defending their "'Castle of beliefs." One of my friends asked me what I thought. I told her the "Best" martial art is the one you train in.
My "belief" is that you choose a martial art you are comfortable with and train. That's it.
Everyone went back to arguing.
What we choose to believe in reflects the quality of our lives. Notice that I am reflecting the idea of choice, again not the ingrained belief systems that society fertilized us with, but what we made choices about believing. (Fertilize was a precise choice of words.)
You can choose to believe in your remission.
You can choose to believe in your success.
You can choose to believe in today and tomorrow.
You can choose to believe you belong here.
You can choose to believe in love.
You can choose to believe in caring.
You can choose to believe in compassion.
You can choose to believe in yourself, your uniqueness, your abilities, your path, your heart, mind, and take that belief in to your awareness and soar.
Query: What in you life do you choose to believe in?
Love, Bryan
Friday, March 15, 2013
Hey everyone!!!
Manipulation. I don't mean playing the violin or driving a car with masterful intent. No, I mean using someone or a group of people for profit.
We have all been manipulated and taught that we were being socialized. Not true. We were being manipulated. Period. The people who thought they were socializing us were manipulated in to thinking that.
Lets take one example that relates to addictions and why remission from addictions can be so difficult. My example? Sales. Over and over on any typical day we are bombarded with messages that manipulate us into WANTING TO FILL A HOLE.
To have the right car.
To have the right phone.
The right friends.
The right enemies.
Clothing.
Art.
Attitude.
To be right.
Have others be wrong.
Be perfect.
Have the perfect bodies.
The right religion.
White teeth.
To be accepted, loved, cared for, appreciated, and always do what's right.
That's just for starts, you can add your own wants if you care too. Remember the hole in a previous blog? Well hundreds of times a day we are manuvered and manipulated in to thinking that there is a way to fill that whole. It all seems to involve handing our money or authority over to someone who has the answer.
So it seems that, from birth, we are being manipulated in to addictions. On top of addictions. On top of addictions.
It's all connected.
So what am I going to do? I have made the decision, due to my Zen and Sufi studies, that I am going to start becoming more aware of how I try to manipulate, in the negative way, people, places, and things.
I am going to make this part of my awareness practice from now on. And. I think my life just got a whole lot simpler. I think and feel that this is going to free up a lot of energy and time.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions concerning how we can give up manipulating please contact me. I would welcome any input.
With Love, Bryan
Manipulation. I don't mean playing the violin or driving a car with masterful intent. No, I mean using someone or a group of people for profit.
We have all been manipulated and taught that we were being socialized. Not true. We were being manipulated. Period. The people who thought they were socializing us were manipulated in to thinking that.
Lets take one example that relates to addictions and why remission from addictions can be so difficult. My example? Sales. Over and over on any typical day we are bombarded with messages that manipulate us into WANTING TO FILL A HOLE.
To have the right car.
To have the right phone.
The right friends.
The right enemies.
Clothing.
Art.
Attitude.
To be right.
Have others be wrong.
Be perfect.
Have the perfect bodies.
The right religion.
White teeth.
To be accepted, loved, cared for, appreciated, and always do what's right.
That's just for starts, you can add your own wants if you care too. Remember the hole in a previous blog? Well hundreds of times a day we are manuvered and manipulated in to thinking that there is a way to fill that whole. It all seems to involve handing our money or authority over to someone who has the answer.
So it seems that, from birth, we are being manipulated in to addictions. On top of addictions. On top of addictions.
It's all connected.
So what am I going to do? I have made the decision, due to my Zen and Sufi studies, that I am going to start becoming more aware of how I try to manipulate, in the negative way, people, places, and things.
I am going to make this part of my awareness practice from now on. And. I think my life just got a whole lot simpler. I think and feel that this is going to free up a lot of energy and time.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions concerning how we can give up manipulating please contact me. I would welcome any input.
With Love, Bryan
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