Doing no Harm. Spirituality and complexity.

Well

     Of course we all want to do not harm. Right? I mean none of us really wants to hurt anyone right?

     Or perhaps this isn't entirely true. Or not true at all.

     Recent I sat with a Zen group that spent some time processing the precepts. We spent a whole lot of time on "doing no harm." Not the first time I have spent time on this one. In general the group started out examining this precept and as time went on the discussion became increasingly complicated. And more complicated.

     Is this a simple precept or an increasingly complex subject?

     Do no harm. The closer you are to your own experience the easier this becomes. I mean after all you can pretty much decide if you are going to harm someone in the here and now. It's a matter of paying attention. It's that simple. We ask ourselves "what am I doing right now?" The minute we start to move out from the center of where we are the issue becomes more complicated by degrees. And. The more convoluted the concept becomes.

     There are some people on this planet who have every intention of doing harm. They are actively pursuing it right now as we speak. Watch the news. See how that goes? For a single person speaking to a group of people the concept is fairly easy. Do no harm. You look at the people in your sphere and do no harm. The people in the next city? Maybe not.

     Is doing no harm going to be a universal principle that we (planet earth) can live by? I'm not at all sure. The concept itself has been around for a really long time. Thousands of years. How's it going? Not so hot. Why?

     Well Greed. The ego is built by greed and in turn supports greed. Greed, or wanting, is the only
thing standing in the way of universal "do no harm" rule.

     Now if you think about it greed is a very universal principle. There is no where you can go where greed is not alive and well. Everyone seems to want more than they need. Because, well, they need more. Communication has done little to disperse the feeling for more. If anything it continues to exacerbate the problem with advertising.

     I really believe in small groups that, in general, we can expect to do no harm. I also believe that the more people, places, and things we add that greed inevitably raises it's ugly presence and conflict occurs.

     I think we need to adopt a more universal concept of how do no harm works. I think that without addressing the concepts of projection and conditioning that the best we can to is resolve the issue among very small groups of people.

I welcome any comments or input.

In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Spirituality, Cash, Teachers

Hey everyone.

     I wonder. Sometimes I just sit and wonder. Lots of people are out there making a living out of being "spiritual leaders."  And or "religious" leaders. Personally I don't have a problem with anyone who makes the choice to do that. After all we all need to make a living. If you have the makeup and means to go out and talk to people and can make a living at it why not?

     I read a lot of blogs and musings on the web and some of them seem dedicated to asking opinions about people who claim to have some special status or knowledge concerning spiritual "knowing." And I think that's OK too. I mean if you declare that you have some special spiritual knowledge or relationship with a deity then go ahead and have it. I mean none of the rest of us are ever going to know if you are telling the truth, delusional, or just lying. So go ahead. Having an opinion about someone who claims to be "special" but can't possibly prove it seems like a fools errand.

     What I do have a problem with is projection. Well maybe not the act since we all project meaning on to objects or people. I mean the projection that people place on these "knowing" persons who claim to have some sort of special status or knowing concerning spirituality. How would we know? Some people just have a knack for presentation and use that to deliver a message. Great!! And people can make a living doing so. Again Great! I do think that perhaps "enlightenment" or "conversations" with the gods may be selling yourself a little over the edge.

     Most people who claim to be enlightened do so by a default system. They wear the clothes, have the look, present as though, use a spiritual environment, and continuously "point" to enlightenment but never really just say "Hey guys guess what? I'm enlightened!!!" Why don't they to that? Because then some of us would say OK show me. Like the Buddha said, keep seeking and don't take anyone's word for anything. Prove what you believe in. If not then it's just a belief. Belief can be true or not but unfortunately in the spiritual world providing a belief system encourages people to part with their hard earned dollars.

     I don't believe in the messenger. They may be nice people and mean well. Or not. Or a combination of the two. But they are just humans and conditioned to failure just like you and me. No matter what the ideal they preach the bottom line is they are prone to the commonality that consumes humans. Perhaps we need to be careful not to get the message mixed up with the person?

     Words are very powerful. They can be twisted and used to confuse you and develop belief systems in processes that are not real. So pay attention to how someone uses words and language. Meaning can be delivered in ways that lead you down the path of person worship.

     If you make the decision to support a person or a system pay attention to what you are paying for. What are you buying? What are you supporting really? Is it a system that is giving back or are you just giving money to someone you are impressed with? Buyer beware. And remember that if you are spending money then you are buying goods. Just be aware that there are "snake oil" sales people all over the place.

     Seek your own path. Avoid support individual humans who claim special status. Examine what organizations are doing with funding. Honor yourself as a human who is a thinking being and can't be bought with promises or a good show.

In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Spirituality and Conditioning

Hi

     I came back this week from a Cheri Huber workshop. The title had something to do with "Having it all" although what I have experienced is that Cheri's main focus is conditioning and projection. This was a most excellent workshop and, as usual, I received a lot more than I gave.

     I wonder how my life would be if I hadn't come in contact with Cheri's material and view of how human interaction and behavior is influenced by our conditioning? I always had the feeling that there was "something wrong" but never really had a concrete way to express it until I read "There is Nothing Wrong With You." READ IT. The book will open new visions and ways to view the world and your place within it.

     We are so conditioned. We are conditioned to not notice our conditioning. If you are a person who follows a particular path it might be interesting to take a look at how you arrived at your path. What were your influences? Social and cultural. What were the psychological drives that actually pushed you to pursue your interest? Many times what we see is that we are simply moving along a predetermined path with no original interest of our own. Simply driven by family and peer action that could be positive or negative but none the less conditioned.

     The point is that we have been conditioned for thousands of years. In ways that we find very difficult to admit or attempt to change.

     So what is my point in this? The point is that if you are following a path that your were conditioned to follow how do validate it as genuine? If you take the time to remove both the conditioning and it's actions what's left? Ask yourself what would happen if I started without the influence of being conditioned? What path would I follow?

     Am I just following someone in a conditioned mode? Do I have even a single thought about my path that is mine alone?

     In fact if you are up to it find some books on Critical Thinking and start to take a look at how seriously conditioning affects your thoughts, behaviors, concepts, purchases, direction, prejudice, likes, dislikes, and who you affiliate with in your daily life. Start making an attempt to resolve the basic ones. Like the conditioning that keeps you trapped listening to critical thoughts in your own mind.

     Interesting Stuff.


WWW.cherihuber.com will be a good place to start with finding out more about Cheri.

"Critical Thinking" by Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder is an excellent book on the subject and will give you some insight into thinking about thinking.

In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Thinking and Spirituality.

Hey!

Does it not seem slightly odd that we were never really taught how to think? We went to school, learned a bunch of stuff we can't remember, who's data base is suspect, and taught by a lot of people who were not invested in teaching us how to think but worried about how much we could memorize and spew back. (My apologies to the teachers who really do care then and now. Lets face it you are in the minority no matter what everyone else says.)

Thinking and processing concepts are perhaps the most important things a human can do. They really put us in a different category than everything else on the planet.

So how do we think about how we think?

If you use "critical thinking" as a search engine on your computer or at the library and bookstore I think you will be surprised at the amount of information there is on the subject.

The very first thing you might encounter will be the importance of realizing how ignorant you are about thinking. It is unfortunately a painful but necessary part of the growing process. The next subject may be the necessity for us to become proactive and "practice" our critical thinking skills.

Everyday.

Until they become part of us.

Why? you may ask, I am already a "critical thinker."

If you consider yourself such, without any training, then ask yourself what key standards you use as a critical thinker? And perhaps more importantly do I have intellectual humility? Do I have an understanding of the limits of my own knowledge?

In spiritual growth the easiest thing in the world is simply to follow.

We follow the teacher, we follow what's written, we follow the examples that others project, we follow the teachings that have been handed down over days, weeks, months and years. Unfortunately most of this "following" is done mindlessly. We follow to be the "good" practitioner with little sense of using our own intellect to assess what we are told or taught.

Case in point.

An  "Eastern" path, one of the ones I follow, had been in existence for over 2600 years. There are different "schools", paths, teachers, forms, rules, and regulations. The truth is that 2600 years later nothing has significantly changed in the course of mankind. Most of the time effort and energy is spent in trying to "prove" different historical viewpoints or worse just following a set of rules that are suppose to lead to some attitudinal change and awareness. No one I know has ever achieved any of this including the "teachers" on the "path."

So why follow it? I love it. I don't have to believe in everything I am told. I love meditating. I love the work involved in tearing down my conditioning and seeing the points of reference others have from their perspective

Can you tell that some people will defend their journey without actually "seeing" what they are defending?

My encouragement is to think about your path in the most critical sense you can bring to it. Learn about critical thinking and how that applies to what you are attempting to accomplish in your journey. You don't have to challenge or justify your decisions to anyone but yourself. Avoid being caught up in the social pyramid of leaders, gurus, and spiritual authorities. You, out of everyone, know yourself.

And I think that's awesome!!!!

In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Blaming Others for my Behaviors

Hi
Glad to be here, glad to be anywhere at this juncture!

I have become aware of something lately. That being that there is never one single explanation for why anything occurs.The reason I have noticed this is because the many one reason explanations I have been getting doing interviews on remission and drug use. Doing some of the transcripts from recordings I noticed that most people have a single "reason" why they choose to use drugs and alcohol. The other thing is that  it always seems to involve other people.

Now I have no real belief in "blaming" anyone for my actions. I am highly aware of how much conditioning embeds its self in my reactions to any input. I also am aware that my ego has an issue with taking responsibilty for my reactions. It simply doesn't want the responisbility for taking actions that may not be in my best interest.

So my ego, for a long time, blamed my drug and alcohol use on my parents, my lack of self esteem, my lack of friendships, my sexual abuse issues, my sister, and a variety of other components of growing up and existing in society.

All of this sounded pretty good. I wasted years in therapy using these so called issues one at a time. Never really realizing that the reality was that I had no one to blame but myself. It felt good blaming others and other things on my continued use. But really, would those dynamice really keep me going for decades using drugs and alcohol? The answer is no.

So how do we cut this cycle short?

My question to myself is simple. Is what I am saying real? Or is it just a fantasy? Now to be precise I was abused sexually as a child. And I am sure that it had some effects on me as I grew up. But lets be honest. My abuse issues had nothing to do with me using drugs to numb myself for decades. And in fact using the abuse as an excuse did nothing but keep it going and definately placed any resolution on the back burner.

Reality says that there are lots of people out there who have not abused drugs and alcohol. They come from some pretty devestaing places, cultures and societies. Yet they never made the choice to abuse drugs and alcohol to help "bury" the feelings.

I am curious about this issue and would love to hear from anyone who has had experience in this same arena.

In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Searching For a Me in Addiction and Remission.

Hi everyone.

Odd that so much of our lives can be spent in search of a "ME."
Finding yourself has always been a major theme in books, movies, and certainly on the spiritual path.
This becomes painfully apparent in remission from drugs, alcohol, behavior, food, shopping, web surfing, addictions or in fact any addiction you can name.
I think that sometimes this search is due to the fact that we have more time to examine ourselves.
I have a friend who overcame a TV addiction. She spent six hours a night watching the tube. When she stopped she suddenly crashed. Depression set in. She felt lost and without purpose. She started to question herself and it came in the form of the question "Who am I?"
There seems to be the theory that we are all a solid state "me" who has all these convictions, dedications, morals, directions, passions, and definitions.
Hmmm.
I have never seen that. I counseled for a few decades and have simply never seen that in anyone I counseled, worked with, was friends with, or family. I have never seen that in myself. Only an impermanent state of flux.
Humans are a part of the constantly changing universe. We are not born with a solid state personality nor are we given one by society or family in our growth years.
We are changeable like everything else in this section of the universe.
Lots of times what we end up doing is to build on the concept of a "future me."
The future me will have all the attributes, meaning, and direction that I am so sure I don't have right now.
We can become obsessed with building this future me. If only I do this or that I will be happy, good looking, secure, popular, and at peace, but only at some future date.
What is the problem with this?
We give up our current now for the "future me." We forget that we are all those things that we are seeking. We know these things or we wouldn't even know what to seek. We are all the things we are seeking. Even now.
So we can change the current me but not the future one. We can be the things we want to be right now.
We are mostly what we do. In the moment we can do as an expression of what we are. The future or past me has no place for expressing what they are. It just doesn't work like that.
So be the person you want to be today.
You don't have to look for you any further than your current awareness of now.
In Loving Kindness
Bryan

Relapse, Lapse, and the Remission process.

Hi,
Recently I was on a recovery blog and the whole idea of relapse came up. I have noticed that my first instinct during a relape was always centered on anger, depression, failure, and a sense of losing my grip on my remission from the addiction.

I like to take a different view of relapse so here are some thoughts.

To make it clear I am not diminishing the seriousness of a relapse or lapse, what I am pointing out is the incredible value of the experiences.

A point I would like to make in starting out. No one all of a sudden has a lapse or a relapse. These events start to occur minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months before they actually happen. It is one of the reasons I do an awareness practice so I don't miss the signs and symptoms of a possible lapse or relapse cycle.

Relapse and lapse usually happen when someone falls out of their remission mode and "Makes the decision" to return to the addiction. Notice that this is a decision not happenstance or a particular need. Once we stop the addictive process a return to active addiction was a choice, we can rationalize it anyway we want too but it was a choice. Own it.

Relapse has to have the feature of return to using over a significant period of time that re-establishes the pattern of addiction previous to remission. Addictions will return to their "norm" quickly so we are talking hours or days. If that occurs then I need to re-engage with the remission process and realize that whatever tools I was using need to be reinforced by adding some more. My belief system is that most relapse happens when an individual is attempting to process an emotional status, anger, sadness, happiness, anxiety, fear, or any one of the emotional states that are verbally identified. Keep in mind that we can have multiple emotions and levels of emotions co-occuring. I have heard arguments concerning happiness or joy and whether they can cause relapse or lapse because it feels counter intuitive. Why re-addict if we are happy? My belief is because an addiction prevents us from having all feelings, not just the so called negative ones, so the coping and experiencing skills are minimal. Relapse will happen when we become attached to the feelings we are trying to resolve and identify with them. There is a refusal to let them flow through the natural cycle. We cling to them and focus on them. We don't want to let go. So there is a natural return to a state in which feelings take a second place while we cover them with the addiction.

Lapse is a different animal entirely. Lapse is a momentary plateau in the remission process. It is a momentary brief return to the addiction cycle. Once again it appears that most are triggered by an emotional status that we cling to and it enables the lapse.

No one wants to lapse. The good news is that if you experience a lapse you can learn a tremendous amount from being aware of the context and content of the area around the lapse.

Some suggestions:

A lapse is telling you that you need to add more remission tools to your toolbox. It says that you have had enough remission to lapse from. Remember those days when all you wanted was to get away from the addiction? Well a lapse indicate you have come a long way.

As an addict I have a history of dualistic thinking. So I am in recovery or not, I am good or bad, I am successful or a failure. This kind of thinking can turn a lapse into a long term relapse. It can enable panic, anger, and self hatred. We simply "give up" over a single incident. Don't do that. This is the single most important goal in making sure we don't enter long term relapse after a lapse occurs. Don't worry about not taking it seriously, you will without beating yourself up.

As soon as possible re establish the behaviors and thought processes that were enabling remission in the first place. All of them as soon as you can. By soon I mean within minutes or hours. It will get you back to familiar grounding.

Don't get caught up in the content of what happen. As soon as possible start looking at the process of what happened. You will find there were "touch points" going into the lapse where awareness could have prevented the lapse. Do not waste time using this to beat yourself up for not taking action, we look at the process to insure that you will recognize the signs in the future.

You are not "starting over." This is another dualistic concept. You are simply going to pick up from where you are and add new tools. In this part of the universe times moves forward and the Laws of Thermodynamics indicate that starting over is an illusion.

Finally, Learn, Let Go, and Walk On.

We learn from what happened, we let go of the content, and we walk on into the next phase of remission.

A lapse can be therapeutic if not ignored and provide some real grounding into long term recovery.

As always thank you for reading and letting me share.
In Loving Kindness
Bryan